What is the real answer

I thought that if I try harder, things will change. Things will be different. Things will be just like as we want it to be. But no, nothing changes. Whats the use? I've tried so hard to fit in. I've tried so hard to get what I want. But sometimes, it won't work. Life is not always fair. Does it make sense? When you didn't put any effort and when you did put a lot of effort, the outcome is still the same? If you were me, can you accept it? Fine, I got 84 for TOEFL when everyone else who took at different centre got 90 above, I can accept that. Maybe because they do deserve to get 90 above. But, I got 1040 for SAT again? That is something absurd that I can't accept. I know I should be grateful. But two bombs in a row? Two times I've been disappointed of myself? Where did I do wrong? When I didn't make any effort to study for SAT, I got 1040. I didn't do the exercises. I didn't memorize all those complicated and sophisticated words. I could accept I got 1040 before. But after I've put so much effort on it..eventhough I was nearly got sick with all the long passages, the complicated lexicons, I endured it. I believed I could change my score to be higher. At least just for a few marks!! What the hell is this? Can I still believe that if you work harder, you can achieve what you want? Now I get the feelings, of being defeated by your own self. "Efforts make a difference" can that still be a reliable answer?