A

It's 4 in the morning right now, yeah I'm updating my blog when most of people are sound asleep. I'm sitting on my bed, alone, in a dark room. I know I should have gone to sleep, but I can't. I'm completely aware that I shouldn't update my blog at 4 in the morning, I mean, only lonely and sad people would do that. I guess..I am one of the people.

It's such a jocular cause lately, I've had these weird dreams about love. It reminds me of you; well you're the first person who I gave my heart to..

I can't sleep right now, and I'm reminiscing about the feelings I had when I was with you. It's funny how I tried to imitate what you did to me when I couldn't sleep; I remember that moment when you played my favorite Japanese song "Konayuki" just to get me to go to sleep. I tried to play that song just now, but it seems like it didn't work anymore. Everything is just so different right now. Well of course it's different now. What'd I expect? It's been 4 years since we separated to our own paths.

I know you'd be surprised when you read this. I'm acting recklessly right now. I don't mind what people would say about me after they read this. But seriously A -- if you read this and you know who you are-- don't get me wrong. I'm posting this entry just to clear my mind off. I'm not trying to get back to you or whatsoever cause I know it won't be the same anymore. I know..and I will keep that in my mind. I'm already over you. I have no feelings toward you. I'm very sure about that. And no, I don't miss you. I just miss the feelings I felt when I was with you.

I hope you guys understand what I'm trying to say even though this entry sounds very bemusing and convoluted. I guess I am complicated.