Mr. Mr.

If you really know me, you know I only post something on my blog if I've something on my mind that's bothering me. 

Yup, this time it is the same. I'm trying my best to conceal everything. I'm trying my best to not spread my love life to the whole word, but there's a limit to a girl like me to keep everything inside. 

I just want to let this once out. Please don't judge me. 

So..

Mr. 1, I never once show to anyone, I never once admit to anyone, that what you said to me hurt me so bad. I tried my best to act like nothing happen. But I'm hurt. I'm hurt when I see you've forgotten about me. I'm hurt when you don't even make an effort to meet me after all this while. I'm hurt when you said we're friends but we don't seem like friends. I'm hurt, but I still keep thinking about you. I can't forget you. I can't do what you told me to do. You made it clear to make me stop, but I can't stop. I can't stop liking you. I can't stop waiting for you. I can't stop hoping for you, because hope is the only thing left for me. 

When you hurt me so bad, there's Mr. 2 that seems to be able to heal my wound. 

Mr. 2, your presence makes me somehow happy. Surprising, I'm comfortable around you. But I'm scared. I'm scared to open my heart to you. I'm scared if this is only temporary attraction and I'll end up hurting you. I'm scared you'd leave me too. I'm scared to start over again.I'm scared of my own feeling. I'm scared if I'm going to be hurting again. I'm still not sure what I feel about you. And what I fear the most is the unknown.